Well let's see.... I think I'm doing pretty well on my dreams of becoming a successful blogger. Oh what's that? I write only once every few months it seems? Well excuse ME. I lead a very busy lifestyle of eating, sleeping, and NOT writing... oh. I see your point. Well then. I'll let you turn around so my side-eye hits you in the back of the head. But alas I am here again, hoping to share some of the craziness that goes on in my life. That, or basically expose more of my Kelly-ness to the world. I'm leaning more on the latter since I don't work for a motel anymore or take the weird busses anymore. Hell, I don't even live in the ghetto anymore. What kind of trash talker will I become? I clearly fail at failing at life. But nonetheless since much time has passed since my last post I guess I could fill you in on the highlights (thin and chunky) over the past few months.
2011 has been pretty interesting. Actually, turning 25 has been rather interesting so far. They say things only get better after 25. I'd like to believe that. But considering the year I had before my birthday, I'd say ANYTHING would look better after 25. I worked for a shitty motel, lost my car, and become supermodel thin (btw the word "plus" between "super" and "model" is silent). So I figured the beginning of this year was a good time to get back on track. As clumsy as I can be, even I'm capable of getting back on track, if even for a short time. I was pretty lucky to find my next (and current) job as a bookkeeper for a shoe distributor. I'm not sure why I keep addressing myself in that manner: "a bookkeeper.... for a shoe distributor". It either opens up one of two doors - a chance to hear a multitude of Al Bundy jokes, or... well that's pretty much it actually. Not sure why that is since I never said I actually SELL the shoes myself but people must find some reason to poke fun at my expense. So far it's been a pretty good job. And I say that because I don't really talk to anyone. It's the most perfect situation for me. I sit at my desk most of the day, answer emails, enter bills, keep track of bills, and listen to music ALL DAY... WITH headphones. All I need is a hammock and a curtain so people can REALLY get the message to not interrupt. I mean hello, I'm trying to build a gay club in my head. How can I do that, when someone is coming up asking about an order or invoice? Rude. I'm only productive if I can glitter the hell out of my thoughts. To those that come to my desk: please sashay yourself outside my cubicle. Although the BIGGEST issue I have is not having control over certain parts of the job, namely the paying of the bills. Back when I worked in DTLA I worked for a management company and kept track of the books for over 10 businesses and got to pay bills for ALL of them. I don't even get to do that for this ONE company. (side note: I'll be getting a little CAPS-LOCK crazy this evening so adjust your pupils accordingly) The problem, however, isn't so much that I don't get to do that... the problem lies in the fact that the person who currently does it (my boss) ALWAYS pays late. (actually for fun, just take a shot every time I bust a CAPS - we'll see who passes out first before the end of this blog) For example, today I get an email from a vendor asking about a late payment so naturally I went in to see when was the last check we sent. What I noticed shocked - okay let's be honest it hardly shocked me. I saw a long list of checks due to be printed for bills that were due a MONTH ago!!! WTF?? No wonder why I am constantly getting emails. How can you forget to pay something on time for that long?? I remember even bringing it up some time ago and my boss' response was that we didn't have enough money. I don't know who should be more concerned: me or the vendors awaiting payment. If a company doesn't have money to pay bills that can't be good right? Good thing I'm keeping track of our accounts. Oh wait, that's right I don't get to do that either. Does anyone have a copy of the job post to which I responded? Something smells fishy and we are nowhere near the ocean. I told myself I'd stick it out at least a year or so, and frankly I'm hoping things improve. If I can bump my pay to at least $2 more then frankly I could give two shits about the whole situation? What lack of money? Sorry as Brit Brit sings, "tonight I'm gonna be a little selfish".
So this year also marked the first time I ventured on living on my own. It's such an amazing feeling to come home and be at peace and quiet and you can just lay out on your couch, and watch TV in silence. BTW I should have mentioned that I was watching a show about someone doing that, because I didn't experience any of it. Firstly, the area in which I had the apartment was shitty to say the least. It was LITERALLY a skid row.... a bridge lined up with every bum in San Diego. Skids indeed. When you picture having your own place you imagine waking up on a Saturday/Sunday morning, opening up your windows and staring out at the amazing city view before you. Not in this fantasy. All I got when I opened my windows was the sight of some guy peeing on the bridge or some bums getting into a fight or even better, some drunks stumbling around on the street. Forget Malibu, I found Malibum. I didn't even want to open the windows. Gawd knows what smells I'd be waking up to in the morning. And sadly I had no furniture either. I was lucky enough to inherit a bed from someone but that was about IT. No TV, no couch, nada. Literally the only difference between me and the bums was that I had an actual roof over my head that wasn't made of the plastic you find at swapmeets. But now I have a new home in a much quieter area. I'll share the details of it as time progresses. From what I can tell, it may be a bittersweet decision.
So another change I've been dealing with is weight. It's a struggle most of us deal with in our everyday lives. And for those of you who can consume a buffet-load of meals and never gain weight, I'll kindly ask you and the tapeworm in your stomach to leave at this moment. Just put the dinner plate down. I'm an emotional eater so I don't think it'll go to waste. But growing up I've gone up and down and side to side. Not many people know but during 7-9th grade I was actually manorexic. I hated the ridicule coming from my family over my weight and short stature and so I just ate less and less. Eventually I shot up like 2-3 inches in one year and lost a ton of weight. I was like a Stretch Armstrong, except I didn't take pleasure in having people pull my "parts" (you can stop right there btw). But while that unfortunately didn't last, it's been a longtime issue. And now that I'm getting older, it sure is harder to want to get up and workout and eat right. If you are what you eat, can't I just eat an athete? All of life's problems can be solved with a healthy serving of manwich. But I am making an effort to finally join a gym again since I've given up on yoga too. Sorry but if I'm going to be doing ANYTHING while lying on a mat it sure as hell won't be working out. I hope I can achieve some success at least by my 26th birthday (Oct 21 in case you need a deadline for when to send me money). Oh and yeah I haven't completely given up on yoga but I don't know if it's the only thing I want to do. Sure I can slim down pretty well but I don't know how much action I'd get having the face of a cute Latino and the body of an Asian girl. So before the summer ends I hope to look somewhat decent so I can hit up the beach without having the patrol try to net me or deport me back to Seaworld.
Well those are all the thoughts I have at the moment... hope you survived the drinking game *pauses*. Hello? You awake? Hmmmm maybe I should call the paramedics *puts phone down, reaches in your wallet to pull out a $20*. Hey I need bus money.
And today's blog is brought to you by the Food Channel because that's the only thing my roomie watches and can't be good for my new eating lifestyle. That and the letter K, kause I kan't think of anythink else to do. Hey I'm tired too and you're an alcoholic.
No comments:
Post a Comment