Not sure if I need an introduction for my first blog post. Ummmm how about "Welcome to my Blog. I'm a pirate"... for those of you who know where that is from I say kudos. You may pat yourself on the back now. Well annnnnyyyyyywho... here goes. So this morning I wake up and find a man laying next to me. Not sure what to do since he is still asleep so I just doze right back. For any of you pervs who want the details, it was my coworker. My STRAIGHT coworker. My STRAIGHT, MARRIED coworker. My STRAIGHT, MARRIED, FATHER OF ONE coworker. Need I go on? Well needless to say we both finally get up and fix ourselves a cup of "French press coffee". Never heard of it before but apparently it's all the craze. And how! It was definitely a great cup to start my day and what better way to French it up than to add French Vanilla creamer. I almost felt as though I needed to add some French Toast or French Fries to complete the trifecta. So because I entered the straight world, Eddie felt as though I should butch myself up a bit more (last night we enjoyed an evening of action and beers... Yum! *burp*). So we got into watching the USA vs. England soccer match for a bit (and today I also learned that the World Cup happens every 4 years. Who knew? Well.... apparently everyone but ME :-P). Now I must admit, for someone who has the coordination of a paraplegic camel I never bothered to watch sports of any kind. I mean even during the Super Bowl I stay for the commercials and the possibility of a flashed titty... even if it's someone from The Who lol. But in watching the sports I found myself curiously interested in the game. Not sure if it was the animation in the announcer's voice, or the hot men running around, or the quick glimpses of David Beckham watching from the sidelines (or even all three) but I was HOOKED! I only wish I had seen it all the way through but Eddie was ready for an excursion. After doing some window shopping (or rather fish tank glass shopping) we decided our time was over. So he dropped me off at home and now I had to make plans for my 2nd date of the day. Could anything top a visit to the fish store? I didn't think so but apparently I would be in for a treat.
So now I go home and find out some amazing news... my roomie is pregnant! Not sure what that meant for me. I mean I am still working on my midwife license after all so yikes! So by this time I make my awkward escape to my room (never quite sure how to end a conversation with someone you live with lol) and rest up before I get ready for my afternoon shift with El Mike (I call him that since Mike is the Black in him and El is the Latino he wishes were in him LOL *waves at Mike*). So upon my pickup time we make our rounds to the grand stop that is known as Wal-Mart. Thank the thrifty gods that they cash checks for only $3! Calculating 1.5% on a bi-weekly basis is too much... a straight....err... forward $3 is all I can handle since I'm not great with my money lol. So shortly after that we check some stuff out and head on over to Miss Dion's *clonk* to figure out what to do. We finaly decide to head to Olive Garden cause we is classy like that. No better way to spend the afternoon than to bullshit about racists, coworkers, and "endless breadsticks". Ahhh I wanna kiss the creator of double entendres (please don't correct me Kathy Griffin). So like every good department store sale, all good things come to an end. Now it was time to prepare myself for the dreaded *pauses for multiple eye rolls* night shift. You'd think I would be used to it but seriously what gives? Hotels should not be 24 hours. You get what you need in the daytime and that's that. I mean most of the time no one bugs me between 1-6 am ANYways so why am I even there? You could put a cardboard cutout of myself and no one would know the difference. I mean I give the same stone-cold face either way hahaha. So as I get on Eddie and the newbie start telling me about some ghetto ass Chicana who was beating her son right in the lobby just for messing with the brochures. I mean damn, can't someone read up about Dining Cruises and Boat Rentals in peace? Now personally I don't condone beating of any kind even the "shit out of" sort. And ESPECIALLY not in public. I mean poor kid but also poor mom. You know that growing up she didn't meet a chankla that didn't properly introduce itself to her face. And she was fat? LOL jk well not really... she was. This lady had nothing going for her. Even the wet look her "blonde" hair was going for didn't look right. Well as it turns out, later that evening the lady comes down to warm up her McD's (see, told ya) and proceeds to tell me about her adventures in TJ and how her car broke down on the way back up (sidenote, is it not ironic that the vehicle was an Excursion?? LOL mean talk about getting off on the wrong foot....pedal). Well good luck to her and her problems. Not the car, but that hair! As for me, the night shift remains more quiet than normal. At least I brought my laptop to comfort my ears. Let's see if I can make it these next 4 hours cause I am ready to have face meet pillow. Well good night kiddies and I hope you enjoyed my first blog. I know I rambled on a bit but if you know me well enough you know I do that a lot lol... I'll try to keep it to a 400-word max next time. Ahhh who am i kidding? With all that goes on War and Peace won't have anything on me hahaha.
Thanks again for reading! This blog was sponsored by Kraft Foods and brought to you by the letter "C"... C.U.N.T (C U Next Time!)
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